💔 What Happens When Love Ends: How Therapy Can Help You Through a Breakup
- willowtreehealingc
- Apr 25
- 3 min read
Breakups don’t just end relationships—they unravel routines, shake up identities, and stir up a storm of emotions that can feel impossible to sort through. Whether the decision to part ways was mutual or unexpected, healing from a breakup often takes more than time. It takes compassion, space, and support.
That’s where therapy comes in.
At Willow Tree Healing Center, I often support clients through the vulnerable, messy, and ultimately transformative process of moving through heartbreak. Here's what that can look like.
🌀 Why Breakups Feel So Overwhelming
When we lose a partner, we're not just grieving a person—we’re also grieving routines, imagined futures, and the parts of ourselves we became in that relationship. It's normal to feel flooded with a mix of emotions:
Sadness over the loss
Anger at how things unfolded
Relief (and then guilt for feeling relieved)
Fear about being alone
Confusion about what went wrong
Therapy can help you make space for all of those feelings without judgment.
🧠 What’s Actually Happening in Your Brain and Body
Breakups activate the same areas of the brain as physical pain—a study from Columbia University even showed that social rejection lights up the same brain regions as a burn. This is one reason why breakups can feel physically painful.
You might also experience sleep disruptions, appetite changes, anxiety spikes, or difficulty concentrating. These are normal responses to loss—and in therapy, we can work together to help regulate your nervous system and bring your body back into a sense of safety.
💬 How Therapy Supports You After a Breakup
Therapy isn’t about “getting over it”—it’s about moving through it.
Using a gentle, trauma-informed approach (often drawing from Internal Family Systems or IFS), we can:
Identify the different parts of you that are reacting to the breakup (hurt, angry, numb, hopeful)
Understand what those parts are trying to protect
Interrupt cycles of self-blame or harsh inner criticism
Begin to build new meaning from the loss
Even when you're heartbroken, your system is doing its best to protect you. Therapy helps you listen to yourself differently.
🌱 Rebuilding Without Rushing
Grieving is not a linear process. Some days you might feel empowered and free, other days you may miss them so much it hurts. Both are part of the process.
Therapy gives you tools to:
Hold space for grief without being swallowed by it
Reconnect to your self-worth outside of the relationship
Get clear on your values, boundaries, and relationship patterns
Begin envisioning what comes next—not just in dating, but in your connection to yourself
You don’t have to do it alone.
🕊️ If You’re in the Middle of a Breakup Right Now…
Take a breath. You are not broken. You are grieving something that mattered. And there is nothing weak about needing support.
If you’re ready to talk, I offer individual therapy for women and parents in Virginia, both online and in person. Whether you’re newly out of a relationship or still feeling stuck months later, we can work together to help you feel grounded and whole again.
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Resources for Further Reading:
Attachment styles and how they impact relationships – The Gottman Institute
Breakup and brain science – NPR
Resources For Other Blogs:
Visit my Psychology Today profile to explore online therapy options in Virginia.
If you are looking for family counseling, Mary Willoughby Prentiss is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Virginia who provides online therapy for Willow Tree Healing Center. She enjoys transforming the lives of women, college students, kids, tweens/teens, and families through providing communication strategies, coping skills that work, allowing a safe space to be heard, and actively working towards helping you with your challenges. She is certified in Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (ages 2-7) and Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, counsels substance abuse in teens and adults, and practices Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy.
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