Grieving a Living Person: Moving On After a Friendship Breakup
- willowtreehealingc
- Mar 21
- 5 min read
When we think of grief, we often associate it with death—the loss of someone permanently gone from our lives. But grief can also arise when we lose someone who is still very much alive, especially in the case of a friendship breakup. Losing a close friend can be just as painful, if not more, because there’s no formal ritual or social acknowledgment of the loss. You’re left to navigate the emotional weight of it on your own.
For women, moms, and college students, friendships often serve as pillars of emotional support. When a close bond is severed, it can feel overwhelming, leaving you uncertain about how to process the loss and move forward.
Why Friendship Breakups Hurt So Much
Friendships, especially deep ones, provide connection, support, and a shared history. When a friendship ends—whether due to conflict, distance, or simply growing apart—it can feel like losing a part of yourself. Unlike romantic relationships, where breakups are more commonly discussed and understood, friendship breakups can feel isolating.
You may struggle with questions like:
Was it my fault?
Did I misinterpret the friendship’s importance?
How do I move forward without this person in my life?
These feelings of confusion, guilt, and sadness are all normal parts of grieving a living person. As a therapist serving women, mothers, and college students in Virginia, I see how these losses can impact mental health, self-esteem, and daily life. If you are feeling invisible and unheard, click here.
Grieving a Living Person: Moving On After a Friendship Breakup
Losing a friendship can bring up many of the same emotions as other forms of grief.
When we think of grief, we often associate it with death—the loss of someone permanently gone from our lives. But grief can also arise when we lose someone who is still very much alive, especially in the case of a friendship breakup. Losing a close friend can be just as painful, if not more, because there’s no formal ritual or social acknowledgment of the loss. You’re left to navigate the emotional weight of it on your own.
For women, moms, and college students, friendships often serve as pillars of emotional support. When a close bond is severed, it can feel overwhelming, leaving you uncertain about how to process the loss and move forward.
Why Friendship Breakups Hurt So Much
Friendships, especially deep ones, provide connection, support, and a shared history. When a friendship ends—whether due to conflict, distance, or simply growing apart—it can feel like losing a part of yourself. Unlike romantic relationships, where breakups are more commonly discussed and understood, friendship breakups can feel isolating.
You may struggle with questions like:
Was it my fault?
Did I misinterpret the friendship’s importance?
How do I move forward without this person in my life?
These feelings of confusion, guilt, and sadness are all normal parts of grieving a living person. As a therapist serving women, mothers, and college students in Virginia, I see how these losses can impact mental health, self-esteem, and daily life. If you are feeling invisible and unheard, click here.
Understanding the Grieving Process
The grieving process often includes:
Denial – “This isn’t really happening. Maybe we’ll reconnect soon.”
Anger – “How could they treat me this way? After everything we’ve been through?”
Bargaining – “If I just reach out one more time, maybe we can fix this.”
Depression – Feeling deep sadness, loneliness, or even questioning your self-worth.
Acceptance – Understanding that the friendship has ended and making peace with it.
How to Move On After a Friendship Breakup
While the pain of losing a close friend can be intense, there are ways to heal and move forward:
1. Allow Yourself to Grieve
Just because it wasn’t a romantic breakup doesn’t mean it doesn’t deserve space for grief. Let yourself feel the sadness, anger, or confusion without judgment.
2. Reflect Without Blame
It’s easy to assign fault—to yourself or the other person. Instead, try reflecting on the friendship as a whole. Were there signs it was ending? Did you have different expectations? Sometimes, friendships naturally run their course, and that’s okay.
3. Set Boundaries (Even Mentally)
If you still see this person on social media or in mutual circles, it can be painful. It’s okay to unfollow, mute, or take a break from shared spaces while you heal.
4. Find Support Elsewhere
Talk to other friends, a therapist, or journal about your feelings. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and understand that your grief is valid. If you're a mom, navigating friendships after children can be challenging—finding a support group or a therapist specializing in maternal mental health can be beneficial.
5. Reinvest in Yourself
Use this time to reconnect with your interests, set new goals, or deepen relationships with others in your life. Losing one friendship doesn’t mean you are alone. For college students, this may be a time to explore new social circles or join campus organizations that align with your values and interests.
Embracing New Beginnings
The end of a friendship doesn’t erase the good memories or the growth it brought you. While the loss may always sting a little, over time, you’ll find peace in knowing that some people are meant to be in our lives for a season, not a lifetime. Grieving a living person is hard, but it’s also an opportunity to heal, grow, and welcome new connections when you’re ready.
If you're struggling with moving on after a friendship breakup, therapy can be a helpful space to process your feelings and find a way forward. At my practice in Virginia, I specialize in helping women, moms, and college students work through grief, transitions, and relationship challenges. You don’t have to go through it alone. If you're interested in online therapy or scheduling a session, visit my website to learn more. If you are wondering if online therapy is right for you, click here.
Check out my Psychology Today profile to learn more or schedule a consultation!
If you are looking for help with a friendship breakup, Mary Willoughby (Romm) Prentiss is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Virginia who provides online therapy for Willow Tree Healing Center. She enjoys transforming the lives of women, college students, kids, tweens/teens, and families through providing communication strategies, coping skills that work, allowing a safe space to be heard, and actively working towards helping you with your challenges. She is certified in Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (ages 2-7) and Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, counsels substance abuse in teens and adults, and practices Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy.
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