Do you feel like your child behaves perfectly at school, but the moment they get home, it’s tantrum city? You’re not alone. Many parents report that their child listens well to teachers but struggles to follow directions at home. Whether it’s meltdowns over small things like stopping playtime or resisting basic tasks like cleaning up, it can be incredibly frustrating.
But why does this happen? What’s the difference between school and home, and how can you fix it? Let’s dive into some practical strategies to help your child listen better at home.
1. The Power of Clear, Consistent Routines To Help Kids Listen At Home
One reason children behave better at school is the structured environment. Schools have clear routines that children follow each day, like putting their belongings away, starting on morning work, and moving through the same subjects in order. At home, routines may not be as consistent, which can lead to confusion or resistance. Using consistent routines can help support healthy social emotional development, self-regulation, and help provide better mental health for children.
How to Create a Consistent Routine at Home To Help Your child Listen
To help your child listen better at home, try implementing a routine similar to what they experience at school. Start by thinking about what’s important for your family. For example, do you want bags and shoes put away as soon as they enter the house? Should homework be done first, or would a snack and outdoor playtime work better?
Here’s a sample after-school routine to get you started:
4:00 PM: Enter the home and put belongings away
4:30 PM: Snack and begin homework
5:00 PM: Outdoor playtime
5:30 PM: Dinner
6:00 PM: Help clean up
6:30 PM: TV or quiet time
7:00 PM: Bath, storytime, and bed
Whatever routine you create, consistency is key. The more predictable your routine, the better your child will know what to expect and how to behave.
2. Establish Clear, Firm Rules
At school, children know what the rules are and what happens if they break them. Rules help children know what is and isn’t okay at home and that adults will be consistent in how they handle children breaking the rules. You can replicate this structure at home by setting clear, firm rules and consequences for your child’s behavior.
Sample Clear, Firm Rules for Your Home:
We eat only at the table.
We use inside voices in the house.
We sit or lay on the couch.
We use kind hands with family members.
When rules are broken, follow through with appropriate consequences. For example, if your child is eating on the couch, calmly have them return to the dining table. Consistent consequences help reinforce expectations and reduce unwanted behavior over time.
3. Use Positive Reinforcement and Rewards
Just like adults are motivated by rewards, kids respond well to positive reinforcement. When your child follows the rules or listens the first time, offer praise or a small reward. This could be as simple as saying, “I love how you put away your toys without being asked,” or offering a special treat or privilege for a week of good behavior.
Using a reward system can motivate your child to listen better at home, just as they do at school. Consider implementing a sticker chart or a “good behavior” jar where they can earn small rewards over time.
4. When to Seek Help
If you’ve tried implementing routines, clear rules, and rewards but are still struggling with your child’s listening at home, it might be time to seek professional help. While it’s great that your child listens at school, listening at home is just as important and can be improved with the right approach. If you are curious on what age to start therapy for your child or if you should DIY it, click here for a blog on the topic.
At Willow Tree Healing Center, we specialize in Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT), which has over 50 years of research supporting its effectiveness in improving parent-child relationships and managing challenging behaviors. Therapy can help you develop the skills needed to manage meltdowns and encourage positive behavior at home.
Other Helpful Blogs On Parenting:
Co-Parenting Success: Handling Custody Exchanges For Kids Well-Being How To Handle Whining Without Losing Your Mind Help! My Child Is Being Kicked Out Of School! 4 Ways To Help Your Child Stay In School Help! My Husband And I Parent Differently—How Can We Get On The Same Page For Discipline?
Conclusion:
Remember, these behaviors are normal and can be managed with patience, consistency, and a willingness to adjust your home environment. With the right structure and support, you can help your child listen better at home and foster a more peaceful family dynamic.
Mary Willoughby Prentiss is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Virginia who provides online therapy for Willow Tree Healing Center. She enjoys transforming the lives of women, college students, kids, tweens/teens, and families through providing communication strategies, coping skills that work, allowing a safe space to be heard, and actively working towards helping you with your challenges. She is certified in Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (ages 2-7) and Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, counsels substance abuse in teens and adults, and practices Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy.
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