Having a baby is one of the most magical moments of your life. You love this little bundle of joy with all your heart, but there’s a part of you that misses the freedom and identity you had before.
Remember those days when you could go wherever you wanted, pursue hobbies, and feel a sense of independence? Now, with a baby who needs constant attention, even during nap time, it can be hard to find a moment to yourself. You’re exhausted, and instead of being productive during those short breaks, you find yourself grabbing the remote or scrolling on your phone.
While it may feel impossible to get back to the "old you" after having a baby, you can create a new version of yourself. So how do you find that new balance? What does it look like to blend your old self with your new identity as a mom? Let’s dive into some key areas that will help you along this journey.
Physical Health and Postpartum Recovery
After having a baby, many moms feel pressure to "bounce back," but it’s important to remember that your body just did something miraculous. Imagine if the world could see a physical wound the size of a dinner plate on the outside of your body—everyone would treat you with extra care, and you’d be kinder to yourself too.
During this time, give your body the grace it deserves. Healing and recovering won’t happen overnight, and that’s okay. Gentle, restorative exercises can be helpful. Taking your baby for a walk in the stroller, getting fresh air, and soaking up some sunshine can improve your mood and benefit your baby’s sleep cycle by helping them learn day and night differences.
Remember, nutrition and hydration are just as important as movement. In many cultures, postpartum recovery focuses on warm, nourishing foods like soups, oats, and eggs. Replenishing essential nutrients will support your healing process and keep you feeling energized.
Mental Health and Emotional Well-being In Postpartum
Your body isn’t the only thing that goes through major changes after childbirth. Your hormones will fluctuate, and with the lack of sleep and the novelty of motherhood, it’s normal to feel emotionally overwhelmed.
Many new moms experience the baby blues, which are temporary feelings of sadness or mood swings in the first few days or weeks after birth. If these feelings last more than two weeks, it could be a sign of postpartum depression or anxiety, and seeking help from a mental health professional is key. Click here to read 6 Sneaky Signs Of Postpartum Depression Or Anxiety.
Practicing mindfulness can be an effective way to manage these emotions. Some of our favorites are 4-7-8 breath, progressive muscle relaxation, or 5-4-3-2-1.
Finding Your New Identity as a Mom
Motherhood brings a new version of you, and that’s a beautiful thing. While you may feel the urge to "bounce back," this is actually an opportunity to grow into a whole new you. Every day is filled with small victories—whether it’s the first time you take the baby for a stroller ride, navigate diaper changes in public, or go shopping with your newborn.
Celebrate these wins! You’re doing things every day that you’ve never done before, and it’s incredible. While you may not have as much time for hobbies or self-care as you did before, try carving out small windows of time for activities you love. Even a few minutes of self-care can make a big difference.
Building a Support System
In some countries, new moms are connected with one another through their midwives for support and community. In Denmark, for example, moms form groups to meet regularly and share experiences, which helps them feel less isolated.
Apps like Peanut can help you connect with other moms in your area, while organizations like Postpartum Support Virginia can link you to support groups. Having a network of people who understand what you’re going through can be incredibly beneficial. For help setting boundaries as a new parent, click here. If you are struggling to make friends as an adult, click here.
Navigating Your Return to Work After Having A Baby
Going back to work after having a baby can be a big adjustment. You may not be able to do as much as before, and that’s okay. Give yourself grace and allow time to find your new rhythm as both a professional and a mother. Over time, you’ll develop a routine that works for you and your family.
The Journey Back to You In Postpartum
The process of reconnecting with yourself after having a baby takes time, and it’s not always easy. But one day, you’ll look back and realize you’ve done it—you’ve found a balance, and you’re thriving as a mom and an individual. You’ll breathe deeply, feel proud of your growth, and embrace this new, better version of yourself.
If you are in crisis and need immediate support, please contact:
Suicide and Crisis Hotline at 988
or
National Maternal Mental Health Hotline 1-833-TLC-MAMA (852-6262)
If you are not in crisis and do not need immediate support, Postpartum Support VA does offer a warmline with free support, information, and resources for all parents and their family members. The line is staffed by volunteers or staff who either have lived experience or professional experience with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. Warmline Volunteers validate experiences, share coping strategies, and offer support and encouragement. Our therapist, Mary Willoughby Prentiss, has been trained by Postpartum Support VA to provide perinatal mental health treatment.
Mary Willoughby Prentiss is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Virginia who provides online therapy for Willow Tree Healing Center. She enjoys transforming the lives of women, college students, kids, tweens/teens, and families through providing communication strategies, coping skills that work, allowing a safe space to be heard, and actively working towards helping you with your challenges. She is certified in Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (ages 2-7) and Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, counsels substance abuse in teens and adults, and practices Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy.
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