Why Moms Often Feel Like They’re Failing (And Why They’re Not)

If you are mom who is struggling with your mental health in Virginia, reach out today for therapy.

It’s 10:30 p.m. The dishes are still in the sink, your toddler had goldfish for dinner, and the laundry you meant to fold three days ago is still in the basket. You finally sit down—exhausted, overstimulated, and wondering: “Why does everyone else seem to have it together, and I don’t?”

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

The "Good Mom" Myth

So many of the moms I work with carry around a deep, painful fear that they’re not doing enough. Somewhere along the line, we absorbed the message that a “good mom” is always calm, always engaged, always self-sacrificing—and never overwhelmed.

That mom? She doesn’t exist. And if she did, she’d be exhausted and lonely.

In reality, parenting is a messy, emotional, deeply human process. Feeling like you're failing doesn't mean you are. It usually means you care deeply and you’re holding yourself to a superhuman standard.

Related: How Unrealistic Expectations Fuel Mom Burnout

The Invisible Labor No One Sees

Much of what mothers do is invisible—mental checklists, emotional buffering, social organizing, health managing, and the never-ending meal planning. It’s no wonder moms are tired. You're doing the work of a full team.

Giving yourself credit for this unseen labor is not self-indulgent; it's necessary.

Further reading: The Mental Load: What It Is and Why It Matters

You’re Doing Better Than You Think

Therapy has shown me that even the most loving, thoughtful parents doubt themselves constantly. The truth is, if you're worrying about being a good mom, you're already showing up in ways that matter.

Here’s what actually helps kids thrive:

• Feeling safe and loved

• Being seen and heard

• Having caregivers who repair after conflict

Not perfection. Not Pinterest-worthy lunches or zero screen time.

Also see: What Makes a Secure Parent-Child Bond?

If You’re Struggling, You’re Not Broken

Sometimes, the weight of motherhood (and life) gets too heavy. That doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human. And you don’t have to carry it alone.

Therapy can be a space to reconnect with yourself, find support, and start giving yourself the same compassion you offer everyone else.

Want to talk? Schedule an online therapy session with me—I offer virtual appointments for moms throughout Virginia.

Final Thought

If you’ve been feeling like you’re failing, pause and take a breath. Notice all the ways you are showing up. You’re feeding, loving, teaching, and trying. And that matters.

You’re not failing. You’re growing. And that’s enough.

👉 Start therapy with me — online sessions available in Virginia

👉 Check out my Psychology Today profile

👉 Follow me on Facebook for weekly parenting reflections

Relevant blogs:

You Don't Have To Love Every Minute: Real Talk For Moms

SPACE Therapy for Kids and Adolescents: A Parent-Led Approach To Anxiety Treatment

Agoraphobia and Stay-at-Home Moms: When Home Becomes a Cage

If you are looking for family counseling, Mary Willoughby Prentiss is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Virginia who provides online therapy for Willow Tree Healing Center. She enjoys transforming the lives of women, college students, kids, tweens/teens, and families through providing communication strategies, coping skills that work, allowing a safe space to be heard, and actively working towards helping you with your challenges. She is certified in Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (ages 2-7) and Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, counsels substance abuse in teens and adults, and practices Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy.